The Collective Nouns for a Group of Guide Dogs


A while ago, at archery, I was discussing what you’d call a group of guide dogs (unicorns are, according to some ‘a blessing’ while you can also get a ‘murder’ of crows). I decided three or more was a chaos, for the most literal reason, especially if they know each other or don’t and randomly meet on the street. Guide dogs have this thing where, if they see another dog, they drag their owners over to say ‘hi’. It’s something to do with what one of my friends calls Uni’s ‘neon bra’.

So, today, I started thinking ‘what would five or more be called?’. I’ve decided it’s an apocalypse.

Ten or me? That’s a doom.

A doom of guide dogs, it would seem dark but it totally covers how naughty our hounds can be in others’ company. Right after the last picture was taken, the dog on my left (a delightfully hyper hound called Rambo), second from the right, broke free of his human and made a go for it. Oh and Uni stomped on my left foot with her claws, I was left wondering if she’d broken my smallest three toes on my left foot. Then Jasper, on my right, stood on my other foot. I had to hobble through the supermarket on the way home.

Today was an awesome day, people came from as far as Cambridge to a little back garden in Dereham to raise money for guide dogs. It was an awesome event in which dogs were petted, hugs and generally made a fuss of. Oh and I won a bottle of wine, a bag of specialist dog food (chicken and rice which is what you give a dog/cat when they’re ill. I could have done with that the other day when Uni threw up three times in as many minutes) and an adorable guide dog puppy plush. Oh and two more for Marie’s kids (we were, at this point, cheering, at the statistics of two girls winning two toys).

The best part was I got to share today with some of my favourite people, some of whom came from Norwich (with their dogs) just for this event. It’s a nice change given normally I’m the one who does all the travelling. I don’t begrude my friends (or the impromptu taxi service) but changes are sometimes nice. Gods know I’m knackered now though. My toes aren’t broken but they are going to bruise nicely for the next few days.

Thanks, hounds.

But it was fun, even for the screaming kids and the people who kept trying to steal Uni (apparently she’s super lovable). A nice pub lunch, getting all my errands done in just the right amount of time, not getting too wet (though it poured down at least three times just to spite us).


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